For the Moment

I am attempting to switch the mental switch to a more positive outlook. Damn hard to do, no matter what may be said. I sometimes think that coffin loneliness we all run into now and again, if we aren't caught up in running away from it, can be so insidious in such a way that we let it linger to long on our radar.

The Valley

Here is a link to the valley that had the storms. You need to check it out early in the day as it is a web cam and it's about seven hours ahead of CST.

Valleyofstorms

Now I Know Why I Miss Texas

Is Your Town Down?

Which towns stand in the face of depression
By: Sara Vigneri

Maybe it was all those years of futility for the Phillies. Or the shadows
cast by New York City to the north and Washington, D.C., to the south.
Whatever the reasons, Philadelphia has earned the melancholy distinction
of
being America's most depressed city, followed closely by Detroit and St.
Petersburg, Florida. Men's Health compiled this list based on
antidepressant
sales, courtesy of NDC Health; suicide rates, from the Centers for
Disease
Control and Prevention (CDC); and the number of days inhabitants reported
being depressed, based on the CDC's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance
System, accessed through bestplaces.net.
Where can you find happiness? Texas, that's where. Three of its cities
placed in the top four: number one, Laredo; number two, El Paso; and
number
four, Corpus Christi.
The 20 Happiest Cities 1. Laredo, TX: A+
2.El Paso, TX: A+
3. Jersey City, NJ: A+ 4. Corpus Christi, TX: A+
5. Baton Rouge, LA: A
6. Honolulu, HI: A-
7. Fresno, CA: A-
8. San Jose, CA: A-
9. Lincoln, NE: B+
10. Bakersfield, CA: B+
11. Buffalo, NY: B+
12. Anchorage, AK: B+
13. Stockton, CA: B+
14. Shreveport, LA: B+
15. (3-way tie) Madison, WI: B, Montgomery, AL: B, and Des Moines, IA: B
18. Wichita, KS: B
19. (tie) Sacramento, CA: B and Omaha, NE: B

The 20 Most Depressed Cities
1. Philadelphia, PA: F
2. Detroit, MI: F
3. St. Petersburg, FL: F
4. St. Louis, MO: F
5. Tampa, FL: F
6. Indianapolis, IN: F
7. (3-way tie) Mesa, AZ: F, Phoenix, AZ: F, and Scottsdale, AZ: F
10. Cleveland, OH: F
11. New York, NY: D-
12. Salt Lake City, UT: D-
13. Atlanta, GA: D
14. (3-way tie) Yonkers, NY: D, Pittsburgh, PA: D, and Kansas City, MO: D
17. (3-way tie) Long Beach, CA: D, Los Angeles, CA: D, Nashville, TN" D
20. Portland, OR: D

Foiled Again

I was foiled from getting the mowing done as the mower tire was low again. Drove to Seward yesterday to get an air bubble. I did check at the local store and they would have to order it. Now that it is sitting in the garage, I have to attach the air hose and pressure gage plus haul it somewhere and get it filled. At least something to do. May use some "gunk" to put in the mower tires, fill them and then mow right away and hope it seals the leak. The weather may preclude getting any mowing done so not in a hurry. There is a fifty percent chance of rain.

I use to do flowers for Mother's day but Mom has such a sweet tooth, will do candy instead. Problem is, what I have has some with nuts in them and that is hard on her teeth. Could not locate a box with soft centers only.

Speaking of foil, in the dutch oven community it raises such a controversy when brought into a conversation. There are those who are "for it" and those "against it" and most are passionate about their position. Personally, I use it once in a while. I find that when I am cooking in a group I get my clean-up done as quickly as possible and get on the road. Most others still visit and take their time. I must try to change that old habit and socialize more, if I get a chance to cook while I am in Texas.

Day Off

I took the day off; from cooking, from exercise, from worry.

Spent the day in Lincoln. A wonderful day of browsing in the book store, Old Navy and a few others. Escaped into a action packed movie with my nephew. Had a great cup of coffee and a muffie at Paneras. Early dinner with a pre dinner martini, then mussels with roasted garlic, red and green peppers and rosemary bread dipped in olive oil. Mmmmmm so good.

Reality reared its ugly head at the gas pump on the way home! Wow, will keep my running around to a minimum.

Storms, Good and Bad

I have always like storms. Not the damage they may do, of course, but the wildness of some of them. The fact that man has something he cannot tame, helps to keep us humble.

I do not like heavy duty lightning striking around my abode, so there are limits.

When stationed in Germany in Bavaria, and a storm would roll up the valley and be trapped between the mountains peaks, I would get up and open the doors to the balcony, and either draw up a chair or plop a few pillows on the floor and watch the show. It was wonderful. The lightning streaking across the sky, sometimes striking the huge cross on the mountain peak, was thrilling to watch. Since the storm was trapped it would move back and forth between the peaks and could last for some time.Sometimes would open a bottle of champagne or wine. Ah, those were neat nights.

The storm that came here the other night was one with lightning too close for comfort but it was moving fast and that did not last long. The smell of rain washed air was great, the hail was not..Some times I go stand in the rain. I may be weird, but so be it.

Worst Years

I am at the one year mark when I temporarily moved to Ne. Doesn't sound temporary any more. I have to say this is on my "Worst Years" list, for sure. The only other one that was THIS bad was the year my first husband died.

Don't get me wrong, I have had plenty of rough years. In fact, it seems the last 10 or so have ended with, "gee, I hope next year is better".

Being dumped on purpose may not be the same as being dumped by death but the end result is the same. You are alone and it is a heart wrenching loss.

Back At It

Final got the mower going so borrowed an air tank to air up a tire and hit the old mowing trail. Due to get rain tonight so I got out at 6 p.m. and mowed the front half of the Back Forty. If we don't get any more rain tonight will be able to finish up tomorrow.

Gave Moms' other daughter a call as got an email that she was having trouble with her primary email set up. Must be getting old, been 6 months since I had talked to her (except once when Mom was so sick). I know what it is, those doggone stress reducing exercises are playing havoc with my grudge center..smile

Only Rain

The rains came last night and we were fortunate that was all we received. Some folks got hail and there were tornado warnings around. I did the usual of unplugging my computer just to be on the safe side.

Received the final two books from Amazon.com yesterday. I was pleased as sometimes when you order and receive them, it is not exactly what you want. There was a cookbook on my list last month but I held off on ordering it and checked it out at Barnes and Noble. Was not what I anticipated so got it off my list.

The Rivers Ran East is just as good as when I read it many, many years ago. I am really enjoying it. The Trigger Point Therapy Workboookhas produced good results for me in less than twenty-four hours. A quick twenty second stress reducer that can be done at any time, for as many times as you would like was great. I think I got to sleep in record time last night. I found the trigger points I need to work on to help reduce the head and neck pain I get at times, so feel I am on the right track there.

The third book is a little different story. It means I must quite procrastinating! It is First Draft in 30 Days. Just from what I have read so far, I can see where progress can be made so will give it a try. Of course I am down to less than 30 days when I plan to head south, procrastination is raising its' head once again!

Coffee, Please

I am back to making coffee that tastes good to me. It did take a while. I went through a period when I was sick that I did not have coffee for a couple of weeks and thought that I could just quit drinking it. I had no withdrawal symptoms at all. But, it has been one of life's little pleasures so decided to renew it. It certainly has an interesting past.

"1727: The Brazilian coffee industry gets its start when Lieutenant colonel Francisco de Melo Palheta is sent by government to arbitrate a border dispute between the French and the Dutch colonies in Guiana. Not only does he settle the dispute, but also strikes up a secret liaison with the wife of French Guiana's governor. Although France guarded its New World coffee plantations to prevent cultivation from spreading, the lady said good-bye to Palheta with a bouquet in which she hid cuttings and fertile seeds of coffee."

Also, in the 1700s a French infantry Cap. nurtured one small plant on the long journey across the Atalantic. The one plant transplanted in Martinque became the predecessor of over 19 million trees within 50 years.

I think the first plants were found in Ethiopia. And then, many, many years later, here comes Starbucks.

Darn

Well, I should have known..Looks like my secondary insurance has a clause and I won't get any help there..

The weatherman goofed again. Supposedy no rain until tonight. Have had sprinkles already but the ribs were ready to go on the smoker so smokin' em..If it really starts raining, will finish the job in the garage.

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me? It seems that the family members I talk to are all under a lot of stress. Whether from work, finances, family or whatever. It is in their voices. And, of course, that adds to my stress. I do believe the stress factor in this country is spiralling out of control. Or it may just be me, but it is real.

I am trying to work through Brian Greene’s The Fabric of The Cosmos and it is tough to try and wrap the old brain around this material. At bedtime, I am rereading John Jake’s Heaven and Hell.

Did you ever read a book as a teenager and then, many years later look for the book? That has happened to me and I finally found it (I hope) and it is on its’ way from Amazon. It will be interesting to see if it captures my interest now the way it did years ago. This is The Rivers Ran East.

It is too chilly to go out to the garage and mess with the mower. Will put that off until this afternoon. If I can’t get it started will have to call in the big guns. I know I saw the manual for it but darn if I can remember where.

Mowing Soon

As I gaze from my prison, no, my bedroom window I am amazed at how green and tall the grass is already. I did the last mowing on the back forty the first part of Nov. and it is time to get back in the saddle, ah, seat, once again. The finches are rapidly devouring the food in two hanging feeders and a robin or two are hanging out in the bird bath. Someone sent me a site for singing birds and it was quite nice, but not as nice as seeing it for real. Spring is here even though the last possible freeze for this part of the country is in May, I believe.

Dinner is in the oven and I am reflecting on what to do with the rest of the day.

A Touch of Real Life

There was a local auction yesterday, so I had some entertainment. Did pick up a couple of jadite bowls, one was a three toed jelly bowl and the other, I believe, is a Fire King 1700 cereal bowl. I wish I had my books here. I did bring about half a dozen (and one was my jadite book) but sure do miss them. Met a delightful fellow who is into turning "junk" furniture into art.

Since I was on a roll about being out of the house, went to the Country Club for a martini and a prime rib dinner. My first (drink) since being sans Mr. Gall Bladder. It tasted wonderful and so did the meal. I had asked Mom to go but she declined.

There are still saying rain and/or thunder storms for us but so far, we are dry.

Received some words of encouragement from my friend who lives in the Texas Hill Country. She said after the garage (that looks like a house) is finished, her BF and his Dad would be ready to build me a cottage. That would be really cool!. Now, to go land hunting up there..Maybe just a dream, but who knows which dream might come true.

Just Damn

It has been a year since I came to Nebraska. Some days I think my physical pain (trigger points in the back and arthritis in the neck) are all exacerbated by being where I don’t want to be and having such negative thoughts. The mind is a powerful tool but I have not harnessed its’ power to “change” my perception of the situation. Or just plain acceptance. I know I feel some guilt about leaving for the times I do. Wonder why Mom’s other daughter does not feel anything?

I did get outside yesterday and get a couple of things done. Washed the Baby Truck, tooks some items to the pit. I think I will work in the garage today.

Man, days are long.

Mid-Week

No mood or energy level today. Do I hear clapping????

I do have to confess some of my to do list items were small and not time consuming (but my procrastination factor has been really, really high) and I had a total of 17...and marked off 14 by the end of the day. Bells and whistles for me!!!

It seems Blogger.com has an issue of sorts if I have HTML in my posts. Not all the time, mind you, but most of the time. It will end up sticking my blog in the draft area instead of posting. It may be my imagination but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Drove out to the cemetery yesterday to check on Dad’s gravesite. All the displays were gone. Now, in being kind, I believe the caretaker gets rid of the non permanent ones so mowing can be done in a timely manner. The folks did not have a permenent urn on the grave marker because they felt neither my folks’s other daughter or I would be around to place flowers at their site and that is more than likely true. Since I am considering leaving mid May I am trying to figure out how to put something there to last through Memorial Day. Went to the local florist and hopefully we can work a bottom heavy arrangement that won’t blow over in twenty mile an hour winds.

For myself, I am leaning towards cremation. As scattered as my kids are, I would be in the same boat as the folks. My SonInLaw goes to visit his Dad’s grave several times during the year. I just don’t see my kiddoes doing that for me. I am trying to get across to them I would prefer interactive time NOW, while I’m still kicking around.
Scatter my ashes in the Gulf of Mexico. I always loved being on the water.

The TO DO Lst

Mood: Better
Energy 7

Have a long to do list that I have already checked off about 4 items..now to keep moving.

Thought for the day: When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt

Dreams

Mood: resigned
Energy:7.5

Had some weird dreams once again. Really strange. People I have not thought about in a long time. As I said. Strange stuff.

The apricot tree is in full bloom. The cherry tree has a long ways to go.

I must get off the old duff today and do something. Mom has to run a couple of errands so will take her sometime today. Of course, the usual figuring out what to eat. Such a dull existence.

It's Baaaack

Mood: Fair
Energy 7

My appetite is back. Almost full force. The Adobo Pork was very good yesterday and today I went the southern fried chicken route. Soaked it in buttermilk overnight and floured it with a cajun style spice and a couple of shakes of garlic powder. mmmmmgood. Mom's remark, "it's done and O.K."
I am still maintaining a little portion control so hopefully all the lbs. will not be back!

Sunny, cool and high clouds. A nice day for Nebraska.

Sunny Saturday

Mood: Fair to Medium
Energy 7

I had been wanting some good Chinese food since long before my side trips to the hospital so looked for a Chinese restaurant while in Lincoln. Found a typical one with a buffet for lunch and carefully watched what and how much I put on my plate. While paying the check I asked the cashier (male) if there was a place in Lincoln I could get Peking Duck.

"Peking Duck?" (I was having a hard time understanding some of what he said, but that I got.
"yes"
"Ah, yes, where they slice the breast?"
"yes"
"Ah, and they have little pancakes?"
"yes,"
"Ah, and slices cucumber?"
"yes"
"Ah, and slivers of green onion with plum sauce on the side?"
"YES" I am really getting excited now!
"Naw, no place in Lincoln you get Peking Duck."

More Signs of Spring

Mood: Stable
Energy 7

I have been hearing a woodpecker off and on for the last few days, and this morning, the cooing of dove was a welcome sound. Old Man Sol is up early in a clear sky but the early part of that will change come Sunday morning.

I have been trying to ease back into doing a little exercising. I can feel the effects slightly today so perhaps need to limit the reps a little more. Do not want to upset anything in or near the surgical incisions!

Lincoln is in my sights today even though I did not get the sleep I needed last night. That is slowly working itself around. Maybe with the time change I can get on a better schedule.

Plans are slowly coming together for a trip south. More on that later.